What an appropriate lesson to be reiterated on Christmas Eve...
I received my annual letter from my friend, Chris, whom I went to high school with, and in all honesty, wasn't on MY radar too often.
He and I had a class together in the 10th grade. He's highly intelligent, extremely detailed oriented and probably one of the most insightful people I know.
He's also autistic. I'm not to sure the details or limitations of his disability other than what I've observed and what he has told me.
I do know that he was in a mix of "normal" classes and special education classes in high school. I do know that he was EXTREMELY literal. If the teacher were busy, and he needed help and asked, the teacher would say, "just a minute" and from there, Chris would stare at the clock like it held the truth to life in it and time EXACTLY one minute, and then ask again.
Suffice to say, most kids in high school are assholes. Especially the privileged little shits I went to high school with who drove the BMW's that daddy bought for them and thought it was highly entertaining to tease and torture Chris.
I did what I could to try and be a friend to him and defend him in our 10th grade history class. I always made sure he was my partner for our group work. I went to his birthday party at the arcade and gave him an art set because he was constantly drawing and dreaming of being a cartoonist and showing me his work.
I danced with him at Prom and took a picture with him, to which his mother told me he had pinned up next to his bed.
To me, these weren't extraordinary acts....just DECENT acts. What everyone should have been doing. But it meant something to him and that is humbling. To know that even after all these years, he still writes me and considers me a good friend.
Well I just got his Christmas letter to which he wrote:
In addition to the comics, I will start to read a few books which I think may offer me a step closer to be social. I have been trying to improve my vocabulary that might come in useful when I want to communicate with others, because most of my conversations are about movies and video games. Which is kinda weird. My mother, on the other hand, doesn't want me to use the vocabulary terms since they are strange. She also wants me to play Special Olympics when I move back to Texas, and that's what worries me, because I want to move out on my own and make decisions for myself. This is how I see the world of people with disabilities: Even if people are highly functional and have a learning disability, Normal people will continue to treat them differently, whether it is people they are working for at a company, people that are tutoring them about something they want to learn about, or people they are taking on a date.
The dating part is the main issue. I hope that one day, when I move back to Texas, I will find a girlfriend. I also feel that when I am disabled/high functioning, I'm not free to make my own choices. I may not have the privaledge to drive a car. People will tell me what to participate in, who I should hang out with or date, and how I should live my life. Sometimes I feel as if I'm trapped in a prison where normal people will get to do those things. I would give anything to live a normal life. Hopefully, getting a driver's license, getting a better job, going through college, getting a house/apartment, finding a girlfriend and hoping one day I will marry her and have kids, and live a better life until the day I die.
That is my story. I hope you understand what I'm going through. Enjoy the rest of your Christmas and I hope to see you again soon when I move back to Texas.
Yours Truly, Chris
He would be shocked how similar we feel. Everyone has their own "personal prison" that they dream of breaking out of to live a better life.
I do understand your story, Chris. I do.
Thank you for being my friend.
He always surprises me at how eloquently he can put things...which sadly, means I was one of those people holding the walls up in HIS prison.
Life Lesson: Never underestimate someone. Normal does not exist.
I received my annual letter from my friend, Chris, whom I went to high school with, and in all honesty, wasn't on MY radar too often.
He and I had a class together in the 10th grade. He's highly intelligent, extremely detailed oriented and probably one of the most insightful people I know.
He's also autistic. I'm not to sure the details or limitations of his disability other than what I've observed and what he has told me.
I do know that he was in a mix of "normal" classes and special education classes in high school. I do know that he was EXTREMELY literal. If the teacher were busy, and he needed help and asked, the teacher would say, "just a minute" and from there, Chris would stare at the clock like it held the truth to life in it and time EXACTLY one minute, and then ask again.
Suffice to say, most kids in high school are assholes. Especially the privileged little shits I went to high school with who drove the BMW's that daddy bought for them and thought it was highly entertaining to tease and torture Chris.
I did what I could to try and be a friend to him and defend him in our 10th grade history class. I always made sure he was my partner for our group work. I went to his birthday party at the arcade and gave him an art set because he was constantly drawing and dreaming of being a cartoonist and showing me his work.
I danced with him at Prom and took a picture with him, to which his mother told me he had pinned up next to his bed.
To me, these weren't extraordinary acts....just DECENT acts. What everyone should have been doing. But it meant something to him and that is humbling. To know that even after all these years, he still writes me and considers me a good friend.
Well I just got his Christmas letter to which he wrote:
In addition to the comics, I will start to read a few books which I think may offer me a step closer to be social. I have been trying to improve my vocabulary that might come in useful when I want to communicate with others, because most of my conversations are about movies and video games. Which is kinda weird. My mother, on the other hand, doesn't want me to use the vocabulary terms since they are strange. She also wants me to play Special Olympics when I move back to Texas, and that's what worries me, because I want to move out on my own and make decisions for myself. This is how I see the world of people with disabilities: Even if people are highly functional and have a learning disability, Normal people will continue to treat them differently, whether it is people they are working for at a company, people that are tutoring them about something they want to learn about, or people they are taking on a date.
The dating part is the main issue. I hope that one day, when I move back to Texas, I will find a girlfriend. I also feel that when I am disabled/high functioning, I'm not free to make my own choices. I may not have the privaledge to drive a car. People will tell me what to participate in, who I should hang out with or date, and how I should live my life. Sometimes I feel as if I'm trapped in a prison where normal people will get to do those things. I would give anything to live a normal life. Hopefully, getting a driver's license, getting a better job, going through college, getting a house/apartment, finding a girlfriend and hoping one day I will marry her and have kids, and live a better life until the day I die.
That is my story. I hope you understand what I'm going through. Enjoy the rest of your Christmas and I hope to see you again soon when I move back to Texas.
Yours Truly, Chris
I do understand your story, Chris. I do.
Thank you for being my friend.
He always surprises me at how eloquently he can put things...which sadly, means I was one of those people holding the walls up in HIS prison.
Life Lesson: Never underestimate someone. Normal does not exist.
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