AHHHH!

This is so how I feel when I'm at work.

Man, I'm dealing with some crazy work drama at the moment and it's just making me feel heavy.

I hate that feeling. *sigh*

So my dog sitting responsibilities took an ugly turn for the worse last night. I took Moxie to work with me where she swam all day in the pool and played with my employer's dog and the family...she had a good time!

Well as we're leaving, I suddenly notice that she's just acting weird. Her tail is not hanging right. It's totally limp and crooked and looks broken almost and she won't sit down on it because it's so painful. So I'm freaking out about what's going on with her and trying to put the day's events together figuring out where things went wrong. But wait...it gets worse.

So then, she's not even walking normally and she starts getting the runs! At about midnight she comes running to me frantic to get outside...I take her out where we remain for a good fifteen minutes and then it begins. Every hour to and hour and a half until 7:30 in the morning the dog is frantically waking me up desperate to get outside.

By this point I'm SO exhausted! and worried about Moxie and dreading my long day ahead of me. I'm due to pick up my boyfriend from the airport in an hour and I start feeling so sick myself because it's all just catching up with me. The constant demands on my time and energy, most I feel the brunt of it all is work. I love the babies. I truly truly do, but it's their family that is getting to me. And the weird dynamic that I'm just enmeshed in and I feel like I had been doing a good job of keeping perspective and not getting sucked in to it all TOO much.
But I don't know...lately, the thing that made me really LOVE my job were the babies and the appreciation I felt at my job, and lately, I feel like that appreciation is lacking and the babies' "sunny dispositions" are definitely lacking. They have been just so challenging. Exploding into crying fits for no reason at all. All of this combined with my incremental burn-out as I've been running a million miles an hour since starting school in June has led me to just being overwhelmed and I guess my body fought back today with illness. I had a raging migraine and was throwing up. :-( not good times.

So I call my boss to let her know about my situation and my evening and her response? oh it's not, "aw I'm so sorry! well it's Sunday and I'm not technically working or anything. I just love your help. Please feel better!"

Nope. It's, "oh, well today really isn't a good day for you to not come in because my husband has to go into work today, so I'll need your help. So get some sleep and you can come in an hour later"

...ok?

So I do that, but my rage is just building because it's just ridiculous! It's ridiculous that she's so incapable of doing what she expects me and the other nanny to do with perfection...care for her babies by ourselves (and not just meeting their basic needs, but intellectually engaging them and never letting either one cry) while maintaining a perfect household. And end scene.

She literally can't watch them for a freaking afternoon without laying the world's worst guilt trip on me! So I call her back up in the afternoon and let her know that I'm not coming in and it was the ice queen all the way. Really quick, short tone. just, "well ok fine. see you tuesday." and I told her, "I'm so sorry, I feel so bad, please don't be upset." and she said just as short and cold as the first time. "Oh i'm not upset. see you tuesday" CLICK. hang up. o_O

yeah. passive agressive much?

So I spent the day feeling worried about the weird tension that will be awaiting me at work. I'm just getting so sick of it all.

Oh, and after consulting with my boyfriend's vet school sister and researching on the internet, we've determined that Moxie has "swimmers tail." which apparently is common with labs who have been swimming a lot (as Moxie did yesterday) and all the symptoms match up what is going on with her, which means she should be fine.

Man...I so WISH I'd known this last night when I was worried sick about her.